I found the following article in Parenting's (magazine) August 2006 issue. It was really interesting to read and I thought I'd post the article here to find out what you think.

In addition, I will be posting an excerpt from Ted Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, next week to examine a Biblical perspective on discipline.

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Why most experts say no -- but many parents still say yes
by Kitty O'Callaghan
article found in Parenting (magazine), August 2006
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• 94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been spanked at least once during the past year, according to one study.

• 74% of mothers believe spanking is acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3, says another study.

• 61% of parents condone spanking as a "regular form of punishment" for young children, according to a different study.

Clearly, the majority of parents say they spank their kids. Various factors increase the likelihood, including geographic location (children in the South are spanked the most), family income (less money means more spanking), race (African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups), and religion (parents more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so). But all in all, it's a pretty clear picture.

Meanwhile, for decades a long and distinguished list of experts has denounced spanking as ineffective, even dangerous. Ineffective, they say, because it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous because using force can injure a child and warp his understanding of how to interact with others: namely, that it's okay to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

So why is there still a massive disconnect between what experts advise and what parents do? Are so many of us clamping our hands over our ears to "hear no evil," or do we know something that experts don't?

Meaning what you say
Before you go dashing off letters to the editor, let's consider that most people don't agree on what spanking actually is. In Webster's, "spank" means "to strike on the buttocks with an open hand." A mission statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes it as "striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury." But if you ask ten moms and dads what spanking means, you may well hear ten different responses.

Researchers who gather spanking statistics often lump together parents who may smack a well-padded bottom with an open hand once a year with those who regularly reach for a brush or belt strap as discipline, and they combine those who may spank their child because it's "good for them" with those who've done it because they lost their temper. The only definition experts and parents do seem to agree on is that spanking entails hitting of some kind, and that abuse is never acceptable. (Those of you who believe spanking is abuse no matter how it's defined may now be excused to write your letters to the editor.)

There are any number of reasons that a parent might advocate or abhor spanking, but most influential is her own childhood experience. Christina Togni of Manassas Park, Virginia, can still recall her mother's threat with a wooden spoon. "When my two older brothers and I would do something wrong and hear the kitchen drawer open, we'd immediately head for the hills." Now the mom of a 6-year-old and a newborn, Togni says that she uses spanking only "when absolutely necessary." But unlike her mom, she doesn't issue empty threats. "When I say I'm going to do it, I do it." Jennifer Johnson, a mother of three in Haymarket, Virginia, also remembers fearing "the wrath of the paddle," which she believes was a good thing. She says that she now spanks her kids "when the crime meets the punishment," and feels that there would be fewer unruly children if more parents spanked. Other parents say that they learned a very different lesson from their spankings. Lisa Bacote, a mom of a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old in Atlanta, remembers the few spankings she received. "They were harsh!" she says. But the punishments didn't teach responsibility or obedience, she believes, as much as fill a reservoir of resentment that took years to drain. Her husband says that the spankings he received growing up taught him two things:

• How to lie ("I didn't do it")

• How to avoid getting caught.

Interestingly, whether an adult looks back in admiration or anger for being spanked, she rarely indicts her parent for doing it. "I understand that the spankings were fueled by my mother's frustration on those days," says Bacote. I, too, was spanked as a child, and I not only understand why I was spanked but I would probably have done the same thing. Once when I was yelling and acting like a complete jerk to my mom, she hit me, and I distinctly remember thinking, "Okay, I had that coming."

But that doesn't mean it's morally defensible to hit a child when the purpose is to "teach a lesson." "Why is it okay for an adult to hit a child when it isn't even acceptable for an adult to pick on someone his own size?" asks Murray Straus, Ph.D., professor of sociology and codirector of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire. "There have been plenty of times when my colleagues have disagreed with me or made me upset, but that doesn't give me the right to haul off and hit 'em."

In this case, whether or not an adult "deserves" to be smacked is a moot point. It's simply unacceptable (and will land the smacker in a lot of trouble). Why is it, then, that children might "deserve" a swat and receive one? Because we're big and they're small — a morally and ethically indefensible reason.

Still, adults who were spanked as children often defend the practice by saying, "It didn't hurt me in the long run." But, says Straus, just because a well-adjusted adult was spanked as a child doesn't mean that spanking is a harmless act. "I could say, 'I smoked my whole life and I'm okay.' But that doesn't mean smoking isn't bad for you," he explains.

Experts cite stacks of research that link spanking to mental health problems such as depression and a range of antisocial behaviors that land kids in detention and adults in jail. Of course, not all spanked kids end up in prison. Not all smokers end their days hooked up to an oxygen tank, says Straus, but that doesn't mean that it's fine for parents to introduce their children to nicotine.

Yet for many parents, their own childhood experience is hefty enough to quash any amount of data or well-reasoned line of logic. This doesn't surprise Gary Hill, a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. "There's a strong emotional connection to the childhood event," he says, "so parents who spank are often more righteous about it." He also notes that for some adults, it's impossible to blame their own parents for spanking because it would mean that they were somehow scarred by being spanked. Instead, they believe that they "deserved" what they got.

Safety spank
Along with lessons learned in childhood, many parents spank their kids for another simple reason: It stops children from doing whatever it is they're doing. "One day my son was acting up and was uncontrollable," says Togni. "He wouldn't listen or calm down, so I spanked him and told him to go to his room." The shock of the spanking coupled with time alone put an end to everyone's frustration, she says.

Even parents (like me) who are against spanking in theory admit that it seems to be a particularly effective stopgap when their child is doing something dangerous. Now, I don't spank my kids as a regular punishment, but there are times when I think it works. For instance, if my 3-year-old suddenly tries to grab the burner on the stove, it doesn't occur to me to have a discussion with him about why touching the stove is a no-no.

When safety is the issue, it's hard to dispute that spanking works, and my experience backs this up. But other methods, like positive reinforcement, are better ways to change behavior over time, say experts. While spanking might make a child take his hand away from the stove and avoid injury, they say, it won't necessarily keep him from trying it again or even make sure he understands the connection between his action and the consequences.

Linda McKenzie, a mom of three in St. Louis, recalls when her 5-year-old darted into traffic; she spanked her twice, telling her never to do that again. Later, she even sat her down to explain why she'd been spanked. The next day at school, her daughter told her teacher, "My mom hit me." When her teacher asked why, she replied, "I don't know."

If spanking is merely a behavioral Band-Aid, why use it at all? For many parents, it's the quick solution — especially when they're dealing with an unruly toddler or preschooler, or when they're stressed out. But, say experts, spanking out of anger is never acceptable. It's vital to step back when a situation is escalating to a point of no return in order to give the thinking part of your brain time to catch up with your emotions.

Cause and the effect
Despite the fervor of anti-spanking experts, the scientific evidence that spanking does cause behavioral trouble later in life is thin. While spanking has been associated with a wide range of negative effects, such as increased aggression, decreased self-control, and adolescent depression, the studies can't prove that these effects were caused by spanking. For instance, it may be that aggressive kids with poor self-control get spanked more because their behavior makes their parents angrier. Or it might be that aggressive parents with poor self-control spank more and are also more likely to pass on to their kids genes linked to aggression and poor self-control.

And many of the studies tend not to differentiate between parents who spank frequently and forcefully and those who do so occasionally and moderately. So results get lumped together, with different definitions of "spanking" carrying the same weight.

Such studies only prove that nothing was proved, say Diana Baumrind, Ph.D., of the University of California, Berkeley, and Robert Larzelere, at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, in Omaha, both of whom have been critical of the wide-ranging conclusions reached by many studies of physical punishment. Baumrind, in fact, has conducted research suggesting that "moderate" spanking has no effect on kids' well-being.

This is just white noise for anti-spanking advocates, who declare that there's more at stake than just hypotheses about long-term damage. Besides the moral concerns, there's the important matter of the relationship between parent and kids. A mother who hits her child could be fundamentally changing her relationship with that child, irrevocably lowering herself in her child's eyes.

Some moms who've spanked their children agree — not necessarily that spanking was bad for their kids, but that it was bad for them and how they wanted to relate to their kids. Christina Vercelletto, a mother of three in Babylon, New York, doubts the results are worth the guilt. "The other night, I was trying to get my seven-year-old son to brush his teeth. For fifteen minutes he ran in and out of the bathroom, filled the sink with water 'just in case he needed it,' kept rinsing the toothpaste off his brush because it wasn't just the right-size blob. When he knocked the soap dish into the toilet reaching for the toothpaste yet again, I smacked him. He cried. I cried. And I spent the next hour kissing him while reading a shelf full of extra bedtime stories to ease my regret."

A necessary evil?
So if hard numbers can't prove that spanking is good or bad or safe or dangerous, perhaps it's not a data issue to begin with. The question of whether spanking works, or is safe, is beside the point. Maybe the question should be "Is it really, absolutely necessary?" And, given the moral Pandora's box that it unlocks, the less fraught options at your disposal for addressing childish misbehavior, and the fact that your child is watching, waiting, and learning from your decision, the answer seems clearly to just be no.

Kitty O'Callaghan is a contributing editor at Babytalk magazine.

Interesting article, and it does bring up some valid points.

We do spank our children, and will continue to do so when appropriate. Many people think the Bible says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Well that's not accurate. Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." So if we're not disciplining our children, we hate them, and are doing them a huge disservice.

But why spanking, and not just time-outs and reasoning with your kids? Well, that all has its place, too, but frankly those things don't amount to a hill of beans until children are older. But their sin nature is evident from a very young age, and that needs to be addressed. And when they're still so little, the only thing that they really "get" is physical punishment. Now I don't mean hauling off and smacking your 13 month old - but I do think a gentle swap across the bottom is appropriate when they've been told to do something simple (such as picking up a toy or lying still during a diaper change). Now I personally made it a habit to tell them why they had just been spanked every time. Not because they could necessarily understand me, but I wanted to get into that habit. And I do think that they understand a lot sooner than we realize! I also make it a point to pause briefly before I actually spank them, so that I'm not hitting out of anger. I wish I could say that I'm always tender and loving, but I have a sin nature, too, and I have spanked our kids in anger. Sad, but true. I have apologized to them, too. Not saying that they didn't deserve the punishment, but that Mommy didn't handle it properly.

How long will we continue to spank? I don't honestly know. I can say that I personally feel my parents continued to spank us longer than was appropriate or effective (we were recently watching a family video, and you can hear my Mom yelling in the background to my brother, who was in fifth grade at the time - "Stop that or you're getting a spankin'!") We already are utilizing other methods with our four year old, including time outs (as he hates to be away from the action) and taking toys away for a day or two. We still need to find some other effective tools (I highly recommend the book Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel for some ideas) - much depends on the particular child. I also am working to use more positive reinforcement: rewarding good behavior. No, that doesn't mean that he get new toys simply for following the rules. But I do try to compliment him when he's behaving well, and spend some extra one-one-one time with him reading a book or something.

I could go on forever, but my little darlings need some attention

Thanks for your insight...

I will be posting an excerpt from Ted Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, because he describes Biblical discipline so eloquently, including the purpose of it.

I do appreciate you sharing your method of discipline. I like how you pause before giving a spanking and then making it a habit to explain why your child received the spanking. I also appreciate your humility in acknowledging that you have spanked out of anger and your example of seeking forgiveness from your children.

Well, I started giving DearDaughter spankings on the hand at about 12 months old. It was never effective with her because she always thought it was a joke and she literally laughed. When I saw that the little swat on the hand didn't work, I mostly stopped the practice. I've read (even from Christian authors) that a true spanking on the bottom should not be done until 18 months. DearDaughter is only 17 months, so the only method that I have used for "discipline" has been stern commands. It's been quite frustrating because she is sometimes disobedient but since I've been trying not to spank until she's 18 months old I end up raising my voice too much and ultimately end up yelling at her, truly yelling at her.

Our current Sunday School class is based on Ted Tripp's book and so one Sunday I asked how parents of a 17 month old can start building a Biblical foundation of discipline since a 17 month old really has no sense of reason to understand any appeal to the sins in their hearts. The answer was to just exemplify godliness. It was a good answer in class, but when I came home, it was back to resorting to yelling again.

I completely agree with Proverbs 13:24 and I agree that when we do not practice corporal punishment then we are, according to scriptures, not displaying love to our children. Ted Tripp gets into this in his book and so I will save that discussion for later.

My problem is remembering that the whole purpose of disciplining DearDaughter is really to shepherd her heart so that she will come to an understanding of her sins, her need for a savior, and ultimately to glorify and enjoy God because He loves us. Another problem is that I've never seen it practically done and so I don't know how to do it. In my family, discipline was about my parents raising their voices, giving me guilt trips, spanking me, and having total control over all my decisions. And though that is not the method I want to practice, I find myself falling into that method a lot easier.

Sometimes I wonder if I need to look at my priorities and change them. Perhaps I'm expecting to much from myself with regards to the condition of our home, which is why I am impatient with DearDaughter and expect immediate obedience from her so that I can quickly get back to the things I'm doing and want to do. Perhaps I'm trying too much to be an all-around perfect wife and mother. But then I look at the things that I don't get done and the condition of my home on some days and I ask myself, do I really expect too much from myself when it doesn't even look like anything's been done.

Well, as you can see, I'm still formulating my thoughts about the practical methods of shepherding DearDaughter's heart. I want to be obedient to God's Word, but how to do that is still something that I'm working through.

You've mentioned Lisa Welchel's book before and I might just look it up on Amazon for a copy.

Thanks...

I tried "soliciting" a response on discipline from a few other moms, but I received advice from a friend who said that this subject may not be the best thing to discuss over the internet because of how touchy this subject is. I "recanted" my "solicitation", therefore, we may not see anymore responses to this issue besides the 2 we already have

I actually thought this would have been an interesting subject to discuss, especially in giving good practical advice to a new mommy like myself. However, I heeded the wisdom from this friend because I trust her advice.

I will still post the excerpt from Ted Tripp's book just to get an idea of a biblical perspective (in comparison to the article).

So, as "promised", here are some excerpts from Tedd Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart...As a disclaimer, these are only excerpts and I would really recommend reading the whole book to put the following excerpts in context. Mr. Tripp gives 3 tools to Biblical childrearing: communication, the rod, and appeal to the conscience. The focus of these excerpts are on the 2nd tool, the rod.

Mr. Tripp wrote:

The sincere entreaty accenting every syllable caught my ear. "Dear, you know what Mommy said and you did not obey Mommy. And now I'll have to spank you. You know, Dear, that I am not mad at you, but you must learn to obey." The baby was mute in the face of correction, but then she was only a doll. And the mommy? She was a 4-year-old Lauren. The speaker behind the speaker was obviously her mother.

Quote:

As I listened to this little 4-year-old, the clear structure and gracious manner of this make-believe discipline session impressed me. The lines were well-rehearsed. Lauren had heard them many times. There was no anger. only firmness in her voice as she prepared her baby for what was to come. The objective was also clear - "You must learn to obey." There was nothing in the manner of this young imitator of "Mommy" that looked or sounded like child abuse. Yet our culture regards all corporal punishment as cruel and abusive.

Quote:

The Rationale Behind the Rod Many questions about spanking shildren flood our minds. What is it designed to accomplish? Is it really necessary? Isn't there a better way? What is the idea behind it? Will it make your children resent you? ... The Nature of the Problem What is the nature of the child's most basic need? If children are born ethically and morally neutral, then they do not need correction; they need direction. They do not need discipline; they need instruction. Certainly, children need instruction and direction. But is their most basic problem a lack of information? Are all the problems gone once they are able to learn a few things? Of course not! Children are not born morally and ethically neutral. The Bible teaches that the heart is "deceitful and desperately wicked" (Jeremiah 17:9, KJV). The child's problem is not an information deficit. His problem is that he is a sinner. There are things within the heart of the sweetest little baby that, allowed to blossom and grow to fruition, will bring about eventual destruction. The rod functions in this context. It is addressed to needs within the child. These needs cannot be met by mere talk. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." God says there is something wrong in the child's heart. Folly or foolishness is bound up in his heart. This folly must be removed, for it places the child at risk. Throughout the Proverbs, folly/foolishness is used to describe the person who has no fear of God. The fool is the one who will not hear reproof. The fool is the one who will not submit to authority. The fool is the one who mocks at the ways of God. The fool lacks wisdom (fear of the Lord). The fool's life is run by his desires and fears. This is what you hear from your young children. The most common phrases in the vocabulary of a 3-year-old are, "I want. . ." or "I don't want. . . ." The fool lives out of the immediacy of his lusts, cravings, expectations, hopes and fears. It is a question of authority. Will the child live under the authority of God and therefore the authority of his parents, or under his own authority-driven by his wants and passions? This is the natural state of your children. It may be subtly hidden beneath a tuft of rumpled hair. It may be imperceptible in the smile of a baby. In their natural state, however, your children have hearts of folly. Therefore, they resist correction. They protest against your attempts to rule them. Watch a baby struggle against wearing a hat in the winter. Even this baby who cannot articulate or even conceptualize what he is doing shows a determination not to be ruled from without. This foolishness is bound up within his heart. Allowed to take root and grow for 14 or 15 years, it will produce a rebellious teenager who will not allow anyone to rule him. God has ordained the rod of discipline for this condition. The spanking process (undertaken in a biblical manner set forth in chapter 15) drives foolishness from the heart of a child. Confrontation with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking renders an implacable child sweet. I have seen this principle hold true countless times. The young child who is refusing to be under authority is in a place of grave danger. The rod is given for this extremity. "Punish him [a child] with the rod and save his soul from death" (Proverbs 23:14). Your children's souls are in danger of death-spiritual death. Your task is to rescue your children from death. Faithful and timely use of the rod is the means of rescue. This places the rod in its proper setting. Use of the rod is not a matter of an angry parent venting his wrath upon a small, helpless child. The rod is wielded by a faithful parent, recognizing his child's dangerous state, employing a God-oven remedy. The issue is not a parental insistence on being obeyed. The issue is the child's need to be rescued from death-the death that results from rebellion left unchallenged in the heart. The Function of the Rod What does the rod of correction do for the child? How does it work? In Proverbs 29:15 God says, "The rod of correction imparts wisdom. . . ." Elsewhere, the Proverbs connect wisdom with the fear of the Lord. Fearing God and acquiring wisdom comes through the instrumentality of the rod. The connection of the rod with wisdom is of profound importance. The child who is not submitting to parental authority is acting foolishly. He is rejecting the jurisdiction of God. He is living his life for the immediate gratification of his wants and desires. Ultimately, to refuse God's rule means to choose his own rule that leads to death. It is the height of foolishness. The rod of correction brings wisdom to the child. It provides an immediate tactile demonstration of the foolishness of rebellion. Properly administered discipline humbles the heart of a child, making him subject to parental instruction. An atmosphere is created in which instruction can be given. The spanking renders the child compliant and ready to receive life-giving words. Hebrews 12:11 puts it this way: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." The rod of discipline, while it brings pain, also brings a harvest of righteousness and peace. The child whose parents use the rod in a timely, appropriate fashion learns to submit to authority. Don't all kids learn to obey eventually? Not according to the Proverbs. "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother... Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul" (Proverbs 29:15, 17). God has commanded the use of the rod in discipline and correction of children. It is not the only thing you do, but it must be used. He has told you that there are needs within your children that require the use of the rod. If you are going to rescue your children from death, if you are going to root out the folly that is bound up in their hearts, if you are going to impart wisdom, you must use the rod.

Quote:

What is the Rod? The rod is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfulness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness until death. A Parental Exercise ...By definition, the rod is a parental exercise. All the passages that urge the use of the rod place it in the protected context of the parent-child relationship. The command is "disciple your son." The Bible does not grant permission to all adults to engage in corporal punishment of all children... An Act of Faith The use of the rod is an act of faith. God has mandated it use. The parent obeys, not because he perfectly understands how it works, but because God has commanded it. The use of the rod is a profound expression of confidence in God's wisdom and the excellency of His counsel. An Act of Faithfulness The rod is an act of faithfulness towards a child. Recognizing that in discipline there is hope, refusing to be a willing party to his child's death, the parent undertakes the task. It is an expression of love and commitment... A Responsibility The rod is a responsibility. It is not the parent determintin to punish. It is the parent determining to obey. It is the parent, as God's representative, undertaking on God's behalf waht God has called him to do. He is not on his own errand, but fufilling God's. A Physical Punishment The rod is the careful, timely, measured and controlled us of physical punishment. The rod is never a venting of parental anger. It is not what the parent does when he is frustrated. It is not a response to feeling that his child has made things hard for him. It is always measured and controlled. The parent knows the proper measure of severity for this particular child at this particular time. The child knows how many swats are to come. A Rescue Mission The rod is a rescue mission. The child who needs a spanking has become distanced from his parents through disobedience. The spanking is designed to rescue the child from continuing in his foolishness. If he continues, his doom is certain. Thus, the parent, driven by love for the child, must use the rod. The rod underscores the importance of obeying God. Remember, the issue is never, "You have failed to obey ME." The only reason for a child to obey Mom and Dad is that God commands it. Failure to obey Mom or Dad is, therefore, failure to obey God. This is the issue. The child has failed to obey God. The child has failed to do what God has mandated. To persist places the child at great risk.

Quote:

Distortions of the Rod Since the rod is an idea that has fallen on hard times in our culture, we need to clear our minds of some distorted concepts of the rod. I do not want you to think I am advocating one of the popular misconceptions of the rod. Here are some things the rod is not: Not the Right to Unbridled Temper ....Nowhere does God give parents the right to throw temper fits at their children. Such rage is ungodly and wicked. The Bible censures it. James 1:20 says: "Man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." Not the Right to Hit Our Children Whenever We Wish ...The rod is used in the context of correction and discipline...God warns against the danger of embittering children in Ephesians 6. The parent who bullies his child physically will surely embitter him. Not Venting of Frustration ...I have never met a parent who has not had moments of frustration with his children. There are times when they exasperate you, leaving you hurt and angry. The rod is not a way for you to vent your pent-up rage and frustration. Not Retribution ...It is not payment due... Not Associated with Anger

Quote:

The Fruit of the Rod The rod teaches outcomes to behavior. Consistent use of the rod teaches your children that there are inevitable outcomes to behavior. Young children must learn to obey. When disobedience is met with painful consequences, they learn that God has built the principle of sowing and reaping into their world. The rod shows God's authority over Mom and Dad... The rod trains a child to be under authority... The rod demonstrates parental love and commitment...In verse 5 [of Hebrews 12], discipline is a sign of sonship. The parent who disciplines shows he loves his child... The rod yields a harvest of peace and righteousness... The rod bears wonderful fruit... The rod returns the child to the place of blessing. Left to himself, he would continue to live a lust-driven life. He would continue to seek comfort in being a slave to his desires and fears. The rod of correction returns him to the place of submission to parents in which God has promised blessing. The rod promotes an atmosphere of closeness and opendess between parent and child...

I think the most convicting of these excerpts for me was the section about the Distortions of the Rod. My greatest struggle with DearDaughter is controlling my anger and I have taken out my anger on her. Reading how rage is "ungodly and wicked" and how "man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires" really put Biblical childrearing into perspective for me. It first starts in the parents' hearts' desires to obey God, to glorify Him, and to enjoy Him. It is not merely turning DearDaughter into a good person nor is it even just about getting DearDaughter to obey ME. It's all about turning DearDaughter's heart to our glorious God so that her life, even from the start, is drawn towards glorifying and enjoying God. These childrearing tools are not to be abused, but they are to be used responsibly to teach submission and authority so that DearDaughter will ultimately understand that she is ultimately in submission to God and His authority over her life!

At the end of Mr. Tripp's book, he spends some time breaking up the different age groups of children and the tools to be used and how. I've only focused on reading the first stage of that section, but if I recall, he explains that when the rod is properly implemented to children at a young age, as children get older, communication and the appeal to the conscience should be the major tools used to continue in shepherding a pre-teen's and teenager's hearts.

I thank God for allowing me to run into the article I posted last week and I thank God that He has allowed me to recognize my sins of anger and lastly I thank God that our Sunday School class, which is going through Mr. Tripp's book, came at this perfect time that DearHubby and I could attend it. By these 3 means, God has given me the opportunity to recognize where I am lacking as a parent and the opportunity to overcome these weaknesses with His help. Already, I have started to make changes in the way I deal with DearDaughter and I will post updates about our progress here at home.