I was speaking with my parents this past weekend, and my mother was updating me on my cousin. He's 10 years younger than I am, has quit his job (it was boring) and moved back home. Evidently my aunt was telling my mom about this, and asked that they pray for him. As my mom finished telling me the story, her closing words were: "The problem is that his will was never broken as a child."

That really bothered me, and I've been mulling it over for several days now. Now I *FIRMLY* believe that our children's wills need to be shaped; we're all fallen creatures, however "good" we may try to be. But our wills are part of who we are, a gift from God. Is it our job as parents to "fix" fallen human nature? I think only God is capable of that. Children need to respect authority and learn obedience, but not by crushing their spirit.

Thoughts?

Good topic for discussion...

I'm going to need to mull over this for a bit too and then come back...

However, you really made a good point that convicted me and how I parent. Well, my parents were really strict and I think that my "will was broken" as my parents taught me respect for authority and obedience by crushing my spirit. To this day, but less now than the past, I am still hurt when I think about my childhood. I always "swore" that I would never parent like my parents and despite the desire I have to shepherd my children's hearts biblically I often find myself falling into the pattern of my parents and crushing DearDaughter1's spirit to teach her obedience and respect...

When discussing the topic of children and discipline, I still think back to Tedd Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart...I think the title of the book describes how we are to train our children, by shepherding. It is such a biblical term because we are shepherded by the Great Shepherd ourselves and how much more Christ-like can that be?

So what does shepherding looks like? How are we shepherded? First we are saved, watched over and cared for because Jesus loves us...Second, we are are corrected through discipline when we wander. So, how are we to shepherd our children? We are to demonstrate our love to our children and because of that love we are inclined to discipline our children when they are disobedient...Most of all, though, we are shepherded by Christ's example of his love to God and of his love to others...And I think that is what is most influential to our children...How we exemplify and live out what is taught in God's Word to love God and others...In one of Paul's Epistles, he is confident enough of Christ in Him that he is bold to say "Imitate me!"...And I think that's where we as parents ought to find our confidence in...Are our lives so much a mirror of who Jesus is that we are confident in telling our children "Imitate me!"

I guess I don't have to mull over this and to conclude...Though I swore I would not parent like my parents, my "natural" inclination to imitate what they exemplified to me is just an example that how we live is what makes an impression on our children...It is only in God's grace that I can rest my hope in to shepherd in a biblical manner and break the pattern my parents set.