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(http://www.entourages.com/barbs/motherwho.htm)
by Barbara Sanders

A Mother's job is to watch over, nourish, and protect maternally. This job starts the day she finds she's conceived; just a built-in mechanism from the Lord!

Mother is the chief night watchman: her ear is fine-tuned (maybe God-given?) to hear the slightest turn of a baby in the bed, a light whimper, and immediately she's out of that bed, and straight to the baby's crib!

Mother is the Doctor and Nurse, all rolled into one. If it's a fever, a crying baby that won't be quieted, a cut, a broken tooth - doesn't matter. She knows how to fix it! A Mother needs only kiss the 'bad boo-boo' and the child instantly is calmed of all fears. After all, Mother knows best!

She is the chief diaper-changer: Surely a wet diaper, or, heaven forbid - one with poop! - stay on that baby more than a few minutes! That's the Mother-protectant clicking - (another God-given talent?).

She's the taxi, bus driver, chauffeur - whatever it takes to get the child whereever they need to go. Can she not just be Mom? No way!

She's the time keeper. After all, children don't watch the clock; they listen to Mom. She knows when the bus runs for school, the time for practice for the games, the piano lesson, the school play. Whatever has a time attached, be assured that Mother has the TIME written down in her time-clock, the head! If not, she surely has a paper attached to her refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, her purse, the car steering wheel, or some place she's bound to see it, or be able to find in case of a lapse in memory!

She's the chief cook and bottle washer. This lasts right up until they leave home. In fact, with some it never ends!! She is dear ole' Dependable Mom!

She's a counselor for the teens. She listens to all the problems, and then tries to solve them her way. Only problem with that is, teens usually know more than the COUNSELOR.

She's also the CONSOLER. She listens while they tell her that 'nobody loves me', 'my boyfriend dumped me', and, 'my fiancee loves someone else'. It goes beyond child and early adulthood, right into marriage with, 'the baby doesn't sleep at night', 'the kids are killing me'. Mother is such a great consoler in this area, why? She's been there, done that!

She's the referee in every dispute. She's the cheer person during the ball games. You can expect her on her feet protesting when her child is tripped at a soccer game, and the referee just doesn't catch it in time.

She is the light at the end of the tunnel, in the wake of a storm!! She is MOM!

Although overworked and underpaid, Mother doesn't complain. She would work her fingers to the bone for her children. She'd come to their rescue, no matter what the cause. These are, after all, her God-given 'talents' to take and use for the glory of God. HE expects Mother to raise and nuture her 'charges' to become the best they can be in this world, and equip them for what is needed to get to the other side!

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You Know You're a Mother When ...

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws up and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids. And automatically begin cutting his entree into tiny pieces.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

You get more excited about buying a new washer and dryer than a piece of fine jewelry.

You don’t hesitate in the least to swipe a booger from your child’s nose with your finger.

You find yourself singing along with the theme song to your child's favorite cartoon.

You forego buying badly needed new underwear for yourself in exchange for an adorable little outfit for your child.

Your washing machine never stops running.

You know what different colors of snot mean.

You have thousands of photos of your kids, but not a single one of yourself.

You hide your favorite flavor of yogurt in the back of the refrigerator.

The beds in your home all have a plastic sheet.

You know where every bathroom in the mall is.

Your comfy flannel pajamas look much more appealing than your naughty lingerie.

You buy bargain furniture because you won’t feel as bad when the kids destroy it.

You can unfold a stroller in two seconds flat.

You’re ecstatic when fruit snacks are 2-for-1 at the store—and you have a coupon!

You’re constantly checking the back seat of the car when you’re driving alone because it feels like you’re forgetting "something."

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